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Car news of the day

Been busy as a busy person at work getting ready for Zimbra training (12 sessions in three days this week, thank you very much) so I haven’t had much time to scour for interesting things to post – or inclination to do so after work. However, here are a few car related links to tide you over.

  1. World Car Fans has done a delightful video edit of Jaguar’s press footage for the all-new XJ. I melt every time I see those magical LCD dials pop to life or animate the changing of gears. Old school elegance meets Starship Enterprise. Bella and I need to cruise in such a fast cat, no?
  2. Jalopnik lists five (snarktastic) reasons why roundabouts will never work in America. Having driven in them all throughout Maryland, I think I may agree. I also think that Jalopnik really could benefit from a copy editor. Dang. (In response to this piece from Slate.)
  3. The best auto show on the planet, Top Gear, will be making its return this season in glorious HD. Thank you, BBC America, for FINALLY bringing me your Britshows in the resolution they deserve. You Are What You Eat not withstanding.

Hot Slut of Yesterday

While taking a load of sandy whatsits to my car yesterday afternoon, Kate and I happened to be party to the most awesome display of dickitude ever. A seagull on a mission from god divebombed the crap out of a meth-faced beach beauty, sending her fries tumbling to the wooden walkway. As the ketchup exploded from its little plastic reservoir, the victim’s only utterance was “You little son of a bitch.” As if, perhaps, she had been bullied by this seagull in the past. Considering his balls to the walls performance, it seems likely.

Artist’s rendering follows:

Frysplosion!

Evil seagull, you are our “hot slut of the day” for yesterday, no matter what Michael K. says.

Watch your (my) car be assembled.

This was a rather fascinating factory tour – from start to finish on the A3 assembly line. Okay, it’s not quite my current model year, but still entertaining.

(Oh yeah, it’s in German. Sorry.)

Best. Site. Ever.

Facebook ads finally produced something that I was interested in! Jack Links (Messin’ with Sasquatch) Beef Jerky has created a microsite that they call “Living Sasquatch.” Using augmented reality, you can create your own miniature Sasquatch that appears in the room with you on screen. It’s actually a pretty compelling use of such technology in an ad campaign – if I ate beef jerky, I’d completely put Jack Links at the top of my list due to their creativity on this one. Anyway, once you get your very own tiny ‘squatch, you can make a movie with him by stitching together several predefined animations. Kate and I did just this, entitled “In Bed with Sasquatch.” Viewable here.

To make your own, be sure to check out Living Sasquatch. You know you want to. 🙂

Listen: “La Roux” by La Roux

Synth-y trash with a funky haircut. Soaring vocal acrobatics in gloss black shell. La Roux’s self-titled album is a glittering example of how to do an 80s throwback sound and image well. It’s not entirely nostalgia, which seems to be a trap fallen into by many a day-glo wearer. But you certainly know where La Roux is drawing her inspiration without question. I’d say it’s more like what the 80s would have been with MacBooks, modern production values and Alexander McQueen pants.

So, what does this somewhat androgynous ginger singer from Britain sound like? Start with “In For The Kill.” Then move on to “Bulletproof.” Shiny, huh? Now you’ve covered the singles. The album gets a little slow in the middle, but is completely fine to listen to while, say, writing a blog post. But, if you’re in a hurry – say reading a review – try “Tigerlily,” which actually transcends the sort of silly name to become a relatively great song with its driving digital beat. And my favorite by far is “Reflections Are Protection,” which is kinda batshit insane and completely delightful. Finally, make sure to stop by “Fascination.”

How to construct a patio in 1.5 days.

Or: how to make it so you can’t walk in 2.5 days.

Friends, I am sore. Earth-shatteringly, bone-crunchingly sore. Can’t get up easily sore. Can’t get out of cars without shrieking sore. SORE. But, it was worth it because instead of working on a patio this fourth of July, I was having coffee on a finished patio this fourth of July. And now I await our first ever, tiny barbecue this fourth of July.

Wanna see why I’m crippled? Below:

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And one of Kate putting me to shame with how stylish she makes her shattered body look:

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All reminds me of lyrics from the current summer jam, if you will – “Bruises” by Chairlift:

Hot July ain’t good to me
I’m pink and black and blue

I got bruises on my knees for you
And grass stains on my knees for you
Got holes in my new jeans for you
Got pink and black and blue

More photos on Flickr over here.

Did I mention our neighbor’s car caught fire in the midst of admiring the patio this morning?