BMW (USA,) we have to talk

Specifically, we have to talk about this ad:

You see, the more I see it (and it’s in heavy rotation on the channels I frequent – like 10 times last night on the History Channel), the more it’s driving me mad. Let’s break it down, shall we?

1. Americans did not create Efficient Dynamics. That would be the Germans, probably spurred on by the European Union and countries like England giving incentives to drivers with lower carbon emissions and higher overall fuel efficiency. When you are peddling cars with inline 6s, you really do need to create a way for them to be as intelligently efficient as possible. I understand this, but please don’t tell me that it was American Ingenuity™ that created Efficient Dynamics. Or else I’m claiming schnitzel, too.
2. On that point, Efficient Dynamics should not be confused with the two diesel models that BMW has decided to sell here in the US. The Efficient Dynamics program, as it exists in its native lands, is actually about stop/start technologies, regenerative braking and other ingenious solutions to bump up fuel economy while driving down emissions. In Europe, diesel is often the standard choice for vehicles like the X5 and even the 3 Series – because they are efficient. It’s not Redundant Dynamics.
3. That being said, can we talk for a second about the advertisement itself? Holding a CFL bulb and talking about greener car technologies seems logical enough. Where this ad goes batshit fucking insane is when it continues to talk about being better to the Earth while TWO THOUSAND LIGHTBULBS BLAZE TO LIFE! Even if it was computer generated, it’s still completely daft.
4. I’m also not entirely convinced that a diesel X5 that gets 25 MPG highway is all that much greener than a gasoline X5 that gets 21 MPG highway (and costs $4,000 less.) Additionally, I’m not sure that a gasoline 328i that gets 28 MPG is that much worse than a diesel 335d that gets 36 MPG and costs $10,000 more.

Now BMW, you know that I love you. I defend your honor any time Clarkson trashes the X3. I think that the Efficient Dynamics program is brilliant when looked at as a whole. I even get past your weird fascination with using the abbreviation E.D. for both this program and European Delivery when you know full well that many of your buyers have a little blue pill for another E.D. all together. But, the next time you decide to talk about efficiency, let’s at least have the 320d, X5 30d and the rest of the “d” variants on the screen for US consumption, okay?