As Flora would say, “what the shit?”
I’m ninety-nine percent certain that the four horsemen of the apocalypse are using my nasal passages as a means for entering into our plane of reality. Right now, I’m busy passing pestilence, but I’m sure the others aren’t far behind.
Seriously, though, I can’t freaking breathe. I feel fine otherwise – aside from the mystery aches and pains of this past Friday and not being able to use my respiratory system for its intended purpose. I’m not sick, dammit.
In other news, Audi Financial Services mysteriously lowered my monthly lease payment today by $35. If this sticks, it will save me about $420 each year. I’m not going to complain, but I am confused.
Also, researchers at IBM are all excited because they’ve successfully mapped the neural structure of a cat’s brain. Is this scientist-talk for having done nothing at all with your grant money? Because we all know that cats don’t have brains…